Eliminating Bedtime Battles

By: Liane Mamo, Certified Child Sleep Consultant (Good Night Sleep Site Ottawa)

As parents of toddler’s and preschooler’s we know bedtime can be a battle either consistently or from time-to-time. Everyone is tired, everyone is wanting control and at times – it can be a drawn out process where frustrations run high and patience is worn thin. I share my tips below on how you can improve bedtime and bring back (or create!) a calming, consistent and predictable bedtime.

Follow the 4 C’s. At Good Night Sleep Site we always recommend following the 4’C’s when setting limits and expectations when it comes to creating a healthy sleep foundation for bedtime. Limit setting is key.

• Control: ask yourself who’s in control? Chances are …it’s not you. You are the parent in charge and should be the one deciding how many books are read and when it’s time to leave the room and managing the ‘just one more’ requests. You can give them smaller decisions/choices to make such as picking the book you will read, pj’s or song that you will sing.
• Communication: communication is so crucial at this age. Things like discussing how important sleep is and why they need to fall to asleep is so important and starts to create a healthy relationship with sleep. Discussing the process and consequences can also help tame bedtime struggles. If the outcome has been discussed, it’s less of surprise and expectations/limits have been discussed.
• Consequences: to further set limits and expectations at bedtime consequences need to be discussed and followed through. Communicate to your child what the rules are when it comes to bedtime and if they are broken, then the consequence will happen. Be sure to follow-through – these little ones are smart and empty threats don’t go unnoticed!
• Consistency: with anything to do with setting healthy sleep foundations, consistency is key and even more so with this age group. They thrive on routine and predictability. Reeling in bedtime battles can be a few difficult nights of establishing new limits, but the more consistent you are, the sooner new habits will take shape.

Use Tools. Aside from following the 4 C’s for bedtime, there’s a few tools you can implement to help with bedtime. Make it fun, get crafty and involve your child. The more involved they feel and excited they are, the more inclined they are feel they have the confidence to follow along.

• Bedtime routine checklist or flash cards: a list, door-hanger or flash cards which included all the steps in their bedtime helps establish limits and keeps the ‘just one more’ requests in check. Every step review your bedtime list, check it off, cross it off and onto the next one.
• Sleep Rules: write out what is expected at bedtime and what the rules are. Simple, easy to follow and you (the parent) decides what they are. Write it out a big pieces of paper, have your child decorate and find a spot in their room to review at bedtime. Don’t forget to go over the consequences if the rules are broken.
• Reward Charts: simple sticker charts can go a long way to reinforce the new limits at bedtime. Find what works for your child as a reward. Whether it’s extra park time, a movie night or even a trip for ice cream at the end of the week.

Liane Mamo is certified infant and toddler sleep consultant with Good Night Sleep Site Ottawa and mom to a superhero-obsessed 4-year-old. Liane is committed to providing families with emotional and educational support to help their baby or child with their sleep needs. Find Liane at her website or on Facebook and Twitter for sleep tips, free sleep Q & A’s, articles and more.