With all the diapers, laundry, and night feedings crowding your world as a new parent, date night with your partner may seem like an afterthought. Spending time together as a couple and as new parents can be a good reminder of why you became a couple and had a child in the first place, and staying connected to your partner is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Planning regular dates for just the two of you can keep your sanity and strengthen your relationship. A date night can give couples the chance to strengthen shared values, address any changing beliefs and offer encouragement to each other. Date nights give you and your partner a chance to re-connect, without any distractions from your little one.
Not sure where to start? We’ve come up with some great suggestions!
- The daytime date:
Many new parents can find that after a day filled with responsibilities and pressure or a weekend that’s packed with activities, they can be too exhausted to enjoy each other’s company. They sit across the table from each other and struggle to stay awake. Why not make it a daytime date instead? During the day, you may be more awake and alert so you can actually enjoy each other’s company.
- A blast from the past:
Do something together that you enjoyed doing when you first met. It could be bowling, seeing a play or going to hear your favorite music group it will help you reconnect with your partner.
- Indoor picnic:
Even if you can’t get a sitter, you can make a meal feel special by rolling out a blanket on the living room floor after baby goes to bed. Cook (or order) your favorite meal, turn on some mood music, light some candles and pour some wine. Even though you’re at home instead of out on the town, an indoor picnic can feel really special.
- Staycation:
Take the grandparents up on an overnight even though you may think you’re not quite ready. Yes, you may have to tote along a breast pump and leave a loooong list of detailed instructions, but Grandma and Grandpa can handle it (they are experienced after all), and you could really use the break. Head to a close by hotel or bed-and-breakfast, make dinner reservations, book a couples massage or even just lounge in fluffy hotel bathrobes and order room service. Most importantly, sleep all night uninterrupted!
- Ice skating:
If you’re lucky enough to live in the capital try out the canal, if not checkout your neighbour rink (indoor or outdoor). When was the last time you went ice skating? Lace up your skates and hold hands with your partner. Then share a hot chocolate or beaver tail at a concession stand!
- Game night:
If you’re a competitive couple, game night can be fun and, potentially a little intense. Grab some take out and break out the board games or the video games. There’s no babysitter required for this one, unless you have a habit of getting a bit rowdy when there is competition involved!
- Hiking:
If you’re an adventurous, outdoorsy couple, but haven’t really been out much since baby was born, get out and take a day hike. This is a great daytime date, you can leave baby with a sitter or Grandma and Grampa for a few hours to explore the great outdoors and get some fresh air together. Make sure to pack a picnic to enjoy when you find a nice spot with a beautiful view.
- Night at the museum:
Another great day date! Feel like a grown-up again and check out your local museums or galleries, some museums and galleries even have night hours with live performances or special exhibits.
Ready for your date? Here are a few rules to go by….
Try to keep baby talk to a minimum and save serious discussions and problems for another time, focusing your date night talk on your shared dreams, hopes and fond memories.
If you are staying in for date night, make an effort to dress up a bit.
Make the most of your time together by keeping things simple. Don’t plan a complicated night of driving from place to place, or cooking a fancy four-course meal. The point of this date is to de-stress with your partner, not make things more complicated.
Don’t turn your romantic evening into a group date night, even if you are dying to see your friends. This time should be all about you and your partner focusing on each other.
Find a sitter you can trust. On your first date night away from baby, you may feel most comfortable asking your mother, mother-in-law, or a close friend to babysit. If you don’t have a nearby relative to help, take the plunge and hire a sitter. The most important thing is to find a sitter you trust and prepare that person for the job. Make sure to allow plenty of time to go over everything with the sitter (this applies to grandparents too). Baby products have changed a lot, and some may be unfamiliar to grandparents or sitters who have older children or don’t have children.
Be sure to plan ahead for feedings. If you’re bottle-feeding, leave the sitter with ample formula or pumped breast milk and clear instructions about how to warm it up. If you’re breastfeeding and haven’t introduced the bottle yet, you’ll probably want to nurse right before you leave and as soon as you return home, you can even bring a portable breast pump along on a date to avoid that uncomfortably full feeling, but it’s usually easier to just cut your date a little short.
Guilty feelings are common among first-time moms, but it’s perfectly okay (and human) to need or want a break. The time away will recharge you, giving you more energy for your baby in the long run. Your child will benefit from being raised by parents in a strong, connected relationship.
Have realistic expectations, you and your partner may be so tired that all you want to do is eat sandwiches on a park bench. So what? The important thing is, you’re spending time together.
Going to a play or movie? It’s a good idea to keep things light. Frequently parents are a lot more sensitive during the postpartum period.
Most importantly, enjoy your time together. Reconnect and remember why you chose your partner in the first place!
Leave a Reply