Preparing for the journey of pregnancy, birth, postpartum and your parenting journey can be one of excitement but also can bring forth anxiety, fear, joy, and so many other feelings for many of us.
We hear over and over (and know first hand!) that what we THINK things might be look and what they are ACTUALLY like can be very different. Here’s the thing…..it’s a journey. What works for one family may not work for another. How one family chooses to parent may be very different from another family. It’s so important that you make the journey YOURS and that you listen closely to your heart. You will make the best choices for you and your family by doing this.
But….we know you want to know….what do other parents REALLY wish they would have known before having their little one?
So we popped into a local facebook group and asked some parents for their wise words of wisdom.
Here is what they wanted to share……
(Huge THANKS to all the parents who helped make this article possible!)
“I wish I had known to make sure I had lots of zipper sleepers from the start!” – @iamkeg
“I’ve talked to many FTM about how everyone talks about the labour but not the truth about the recovery. That is the part that rocked my world the most and I felt most unprepared for. Not emotionally, but physically.”
“How hard breastfeeding would be. Side snap onesies and zippered sleepers are a must!”
“How to care for your own body postpartum (alllll the pads and Epsom baths) and how important wake windows are (cause we didn’t follow them till one month in so yeah) 😪”
“That (if you’re breastfeeding) the baby will be glued to your breast for most of the day clusterfeeding and that’s absolutely normal and okay!” – @nivesscott
“Don’t waste your money on all the cute outfits! Pjs for the first year with just a few outfits” – @motheroffivedaughters
“How many ways postpartum issues can manifest themselves…that there is more than just post-partum depression…I had no idea which is (one of the reasons) why I really resisted anyone suggesting that I might have some…looking back now, I realize I was suffering.” @erinmccarthymindfulness
“That mom guilt can be detrimental and not to give in to it! Also that people will judge no matter what decision you make.” @maxime.dee
“That you’re not a bad mom for not knowing all the different types of cries right away or not knowing their cues.
That, just because you got the all clear at your 6 week appointment, doesn’t mean your body is actually healed.
That if you’re able to breastfeed, it really does get easier eventually.”
“More about C-sections before and afterwards (like I took a bath right after, not knowing you can’t) and postpartum that goes with it ,also lots more info on breast feeding . Like its painful, to some people it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. I thought I was a bad mommy cause of all my struggles.”
“I wish I knew that babies give you absolutely nothing in return while taking every single bit of you for the first few weeks. I mean duh… they’re babies. Basically little helpless baked potatoes, but I didn’t know how lonely that would feel until my daughter came. She needed me every second of the day for every aspect of her life and I never got a smile, a hug, a thank you… I didn’t expect that to be so mentally draining.”
“That it’s okay to let your guard down and ask for help. Being a new mom is hard and people can’t read your mind.
Just because it works for others does NOT mean it will work for you.
Be kind to yourself you are only human.”
“I think the biggest thing I learned is accepting the help from your husband and others! I had issues during delivery which resulted in my husband having to take the major role for the first few weeks of our babies life and that he didn’t screw it up even though he didn’t do it the way I had thought I was going to do the first few weeks. Also be ready for the unexpected, have a plan for the delivery and how you want to raise your baby but be absolutely ready to throw the plan out the window and readjust your expectations 🙂” – @megfuger
“I wish I would have known that there was nothing “wrong” with formula feeding my child. I was discharged from the hospital feeling as if I’d failed my first born because he had a bad latch and we were supplementing. I ended up exclusively formula feeding him and the mom guilt was REAL. Breast is best was pushed on me hard in hospital and while I understand it, I felt as though when I made it known that I did want to supplement I was kind of written off. I breastfed my second exclusively at the beginning and there was a glaring difference in how I was treated. I also wish I was given more information and support regarding breastfeeding before my son was born – I was unprepared. Personally, breastfeeding was much harder than giving birth!” – @ellexxesse
“Info about how to recover from a c section and what to expect (especially how much help you will actually need). They told me nothing except when to take off the bandage before I left the hospital!
Also that you might not feel a warm and fuzzy love right away and that’s ok and also ok to talk about it!”
– @drallysonfun
“I wish I would have known how hard postpartum recovery can be mentally, not just physically. All the emotions, not many good. And that’s ok.” – @ashdianag
“The hormones!!!! I wish I knew I would feel so anxious and indecisive about every little choice. Being a first time parent is like a new job with no training and the learning curve is steep. That mixed with your hormones at the beginning – I would go back and tell my first few weeks self “do your best, you are good enough, you are the absolute best mama for your baby” – @justine_lynnn
“Being a first time mom is so isolating! I was the first to become a mom among my close group of friends. It was hard finding my new mom friends.
Car seats are so heavy and awkward to carry. It took me a while to find a better way to carry it.
Sleep deprivation was a lot worse than I expected. It was definitely the most challenging part of being a new mom.
Pelvic floor physiotherapy postpartum saved my self-esteem and helped me heal faster.”
@thepelvicgirl
“That it is ok to need some alone time. I wish I had felt less pressure to be with her 24/7 and had taken some more time to myself at the beginning. I felt guilty leaving her for even half an hour and it was super draining and likely not very healthy for either of us.”- @ruthiemaggie
“Prepare for breastfeeding ahead of time by looking up YouTube videos by Jack Newman or other trusted sources. Learning about a good latch, how to know if your baby is drinking, different holds, what to do if your supply is low can help to make the challenges feel manageable. Gather resources and a plan so if you need help, your exhausted stressed brain doesn’t have to start researching and figuring things out. Have a general idea of breastfeeding clinics and drop ins, how to find a lactation consultant to do a home visit or do a drop in. Knowing what you’ll do if you think things aren’t going well alleviates the feelings of hopelessness and can help you persist through the initial tough times to get through to that breakthrough moment where things just click.”
“I wish I would have known that I wouldn’t love my baby right away. I expected that overwhelming flow of undeniable love when I gave birth.. and needless to say that didn’t happen! No one prepared me for that. I Thought I was alone in that thought & wondered if I would ever love him because I didn’t when he was born. He’s a year now & now I LOVE him to pieces.
Also dairy allergies. I didn’t know they existed & my poor son suffered for 4 weeks (screaming night & day) until I figured it out!!!”
– @pancake899
” I wish I had known how quickly each phase would come and go. Things that seem impossible suddenly become manageable. Things that are so exciting, are fleeting – so it’s important to soak it all in.” – @_kaylahunt
We hope that you found some of these tips and moments of sharing from one parent to another helpful. Some of the parents who shared were happy to share their insta accounts so please go and connect with them! xo
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