How can I get my baby to sleep? It’s a question I hear weekly in class. What do newborn babies sleep like and more importantly, why? In order to look at normal newborn sleep, one needs to look at the physiology of the newborn brain, cultural norms as well as individual differences all together pared with parenting supports.
Newborns are born completely and utterly unprepared for the adult world. As the only mammal that walks on two legs, the human pelvis has evolved into a shape that requires our babies to be born at a time when they can still maneuver and fit through the pelvis. Our newborns arrive with only 25% of the brain growth complete after 9 months of gestation. Our babies will take 12 full months to gain the ability to stand. Their skull fontanels remain soft and open for up to 18 months to allow for the remaining brain development to continue after birth, the majority of which occurs by 21 months of age but continues at a slower pace into the teenage years.
Each time our baby’s brain makes a developmental leap, and there are ten significant brain developments in the first 20 months of life, our baby’s sleep patterns become irregular, and seemingly non-existent. The human newborn actually requires the touch of another adult to facilitate this brain development in the first 24 months and they often wake in the night to seek out a human to aid in brain development. Parental touch is equally as important as a basic human need for survival as is food and water.
A new tooth, separation anxiety, nap consolidation and reductions, surprise illnesses among other life events additionally cause baby to wake more frequently. Instinctually and theoretically we may feel that these are normal occurrences. Yet we, as parents continue to struggle.
Our confidence as new parents is undermined by the constant comparisons between babies leading us to forget their unique differences. Newborns and toddlers start to develop all their own distinct sleep personalities, which we, as adults do not have the power to shape and control. Is your child a natural early riser, a late night owl? Does s/he like to wear warm PJ’s with feet or sleep naked? Does your child nap or not. As adults, we take all of our sleep peculiarities for granted but they are what make us unique individuals. Sleeping through the night for a newborn is considered to be one four hour stretch. We all strive to have the ‘good baby’. The baby whose sleep patterns perfectly reflect our own, thereby requiring little additional nighttime parenting.
Our confidence further takes a hit when well meaning grandparents announce that we slept through the night at birth. It is often forgotten that babies of the 1960’s – to early 1980’s were often eating pureed solids by six weeks of age and put to sleep on their bellies. The result: newborns who slept long, deep stretches, contributing to the increased SIDS rates. We forget that our generation of breastfeeding babies, who sleep on their backs and only start solids after six months reflect normal infant development behaviour.
How can expectant and new families find a way to meet the needs of their newborns and toddlers as well as nourish their own needs for sleep and autonomy? Building a village of support is critical. Whether it is family, friends, neighbours or postpartum doulas. Having a sense of community to help bring meals, provide nap support and lend an empathetic and understanding without promising a quick fix for a complicated but normal behavior.
Erin Shaheen is a registered Social Service Worker who has been teaching Parenting and Prenatal classes for 18 years. She is a Car Seat Technician, CPR Instructor and trained with CAPPA, DONA and La Leche League. Her passion for everything pregnancy and baby comes from the amazing experiences of parenting four very different children aged 12 – 18 including a set of twins, who now love to stay up late and sleep in. In her spare time she loves playing her bagpipes and knitting.
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