During my interviews with people who feel successful, I noticed that many paid special tribute to being loved unconditionally. So, what does it mean to love unconditionally? Is it really possible to remove all of the conditions placed on a person and your love for them? In questioning this and working towards this goal you become more and more able to see your child for who they are and you become more able to be in awe of your child.
When you separate doing from being and support living a full life, you allow others to honour themselves for who they are. A person is free to love themselves unconditionally when they see you have this outlook.
Conditions are like seeds of doubt. They bring about a feeling of mistrust and worry. You can only understand what it feels like to love someone unconditionally if you can feel this by loving yourself first. One path to learning this is spending time with your self and getting to know yourself. Once you begin to internalize this feeling you will be able to know what fills you up and how to care for yourself.
Part of complete self-acceptance is knowing your self as a whole person and approving of your various parts. Grounding in this knowledge will allow you to feel that you are fulfilling your place in the world by being who you are. When you are on this journey you will find it easier to be clear in your decisions and values and share these with your family.
So what are some of the conditions you place on love or on how you demonstrate love with a fully open heart? A fully open heart is one where the goal is to lead with love instead of fear, with happiness and joy as a priority, where judgment has no place and vulnerability and freedom bring forward strength in your relationships. With this openness leading the way you become able to let go of the conditions that show up because of beliefs, habits, and conditioning.
Are your children worthy if they are throwing a tantrum, if they aren’t using their manners, if they aren’t meeting expectations in school or of others? When you are worried about how they act, react or about their future you are being shown areas where you may be placing conditions on them. This is when you have the opportunity to reflect on how you can best demonstrate that they are loved for who they are. You can show them your deep trust in their goodness and help them to feel that they are a gift to the world. That it is the wholeness of their being that is a gift not certain parts of them.
It is much easier to share this message if you have the perspective that all parts of them are in balance and create their uniqueness. By holding all their qualities as part of their complete being you will be able to enjoy different aspects of their person. In doing this you can also see how to grow in acceptance of yourself.
To begin to bring this loving feeling into your life you can begin to work with your own awareness…
- Begin to note where you are judging yourself and the members of your family.
- Notice times when you are asking your children to do because you are worried or to meet expectations.
- Take a few minutes each day for a while to repeat to yourself, “I love and accept myself even though these worries and external expectations are present.”
As unconditional love for yourself increases you will be allowing your child to experience unconditional love for themselves. This feeling of love will ensure they feel successful and move them to bring themselves fully to the world.
Kaeli Van Regan is the author of “Parenting Your Way”, founder of Living Inside Out and Living Inside Out Press, a Certified Life Coach, Reiki Master and Energy Healer specializing in personal expansion for individuals and families. She has developed products and programs to provide guidance towards having balance in all aspects of life.
Her gifts include integrating her learning and experience to support people who feel overwhelmed or emotional and helps them to develop in their own lives.
Kaeli was brought up with an appreciation of nature and gratitude for life. As a dancer, she experienced the pureness of leading from the heart and living a healthy lifestyle.
She lives in Old Ottawa East with her family. She and her life partner enjoy their 3 kids and are living a life of joy every day.
You can connect with Kaeli at www.livinginsideout.ca.